The Illest

Originally posted January 18, 2021

So I’m a couple days late blogging this week because I was actually in the hospital. I’m still not feeling very well and part of me is incredibly worried that I will never feel back to normal again. The strife of the experience has sent my anxiety through the roof also and it’s been difficult to try to get a grip on it.

Take care of yourselves friends, take care.

Mental Health IS Health

Turns out I had a pretty bad psychiatric breakdown at that time and had to spend a week or so in a Behavioral Health Center. It was triggered by two different things. In hindsight however (a year and a half later) the reasons are MUCH more clear.

Protect Your Energy

I was in a relationship with someone who constantly lied, cheated and snuck around and it really fucked with my head. At the same time, I was trying to rekindle things with my mother which brought a ton of unresolved childhood wounds. It was super rough. And the journey back to myself has been long and arduous. I’m more upset with myself than anything because I let them keep me distracted and numb with different things and kept ignoring my own intuition.

When people say protect your peace, do you know what they really mean ? I don’t think I did honestly. I never slowed down enough to really analyze and process it. I wasn’t sure what it looked like for my own personal life. As a recovering selfless helper, I tend to bend over backward for the ones I love. Stuck in my head was always the scripture that said a person who doesn’t take care of their family is a person without faith. I always kept in mind that blood is thicker than water. And because of that, it made it difficult to detach from the ones I loved no matter how mentally or emotionally abusive they were.


I’m in a much better place now, especially since I’ve learned to spiritually protect myself and my actual energy ! Want to learn more about how to protect yourself ? Check out Aries Alchemist.

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