Dirty Thirty Baby !

Originally written April 10, 2021

So in 2 days I’ll be turning 30 years old ! In 9 days my boyfriend turns 34. So 4 days we will be going on vacation to California for 5 days lol I’m pretty stoked. I have no idea what my 30s have in store for me but my 20s were full of a lot of bullshit. Some of it pretty delightful but bullshit nonetheless.

Go Shawty

I got my degree and 2 licenses (so many wasted school refund checks). I was a full time preacher then I had a baby and got knocked off the team. I almost got married to a schizophrenic who then proceeded to stalk me and tried to rape me. Left the religion I’ve known my whole life. Witness my baby sister have her own baby just to get banned from ever seeing again after a year. Got evicted from the apartment I had with sociopathic roommate who brought in bed bugs and refused to pay her half of the bills. Passed out on the highway and hit a pole going full speed.

I tried thc edibles VORACIOUSLY, so many different methods of smoking weed, and other adventures that included cocaine, molly, lsd and shrooms. I had 2 suicide attempts and one inpatient psych stay. I had 2 intensive long term outpatient psychiatric programs. I accidentally dated bum with a fiance. I intentionally dated a Bay Area baller who flew me around and bought me things instead of actually loving me. I lost my mother and two of my longest term friends. Not to death but to pure bitchassedness. I lost the rest of my family aside from one real cousin and one fake cousin mainly bc one sound one band but also because they’re just toxic as fuck. I lost my beloved grandfather to cancer and my closest new male friend to murder.

I started 5 businesses total. I started traveling like a fucking BIRD ! So many solo weekend trips or I’d take Mindy which we both loved. I started my own traditions and learned to love myself. I got my first apartment and first new car. I dabbled in tarot and the other dark arts. I found God in hopeless places. I figured out my sexuality. I found a man and a woman I love more than life and want to be connected to forever. One platonically and one romantically. I found my passion. I found my purpose. I found my calling.

Honestly, I don’t think I would change a thing but I do hope this next decade has a lot less drama and a lot more money lmao.


This year has been all about ALIGNMENT ! Everything has changed since my 30th b’earthday. I’ll save the thorough story for its own blog !

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