My Preference, My Business

So, one time I was talking about preference with a friend. I’mma be real honest. I don’t remember which friend or what point in time this conversation was had. I do, however, remember that it started because one of us saw a post on Facebook that mentioned if you have kids you can’t look for a kidless spouse. People feel like it makes you a hypocrite. Why is that though ?

preference of a kidless woman dating a man with a kid
Photo by PNW Production on

QOTD: Can You Be Choosey ?

No, really. Why though ? Somebody answer me. Is it okay, in your opinion is it okay for skinny people to only prefer dating fat people ? What about fat people only dating skinny people ? Why does society in general only have an issue with fat people’s preference but not others ?

Man What Preference ?!

Let’s stick with the fat vs skinny narrative for now. Here are some comments other people have made on the topic !

I’m a woman, but I think men are running out of options. There aren’t many very physically fit women left in the United States. Personally, I prefer men who are healthy. I’m married, my husband is a triathlete and marathoner.


I wonder, how many women who are bashing men for not liking fat women….would they themselves date a fat man?


Let’s Talk About Preference

I am fat. Let’s start there. Fat af. I am 5 foot 3 and at my heaviest I weighed 292. But I wasn’t always fat. I started high school at 135 lbs. I’d always been extremely active, very athletic. After high school I gained about 25 pounds since I was no longer heavy into sports. Cool, some curves. Then when I was 20, I got pregnant. No biggie. I actually LOST weight at first. Then by the time she arrives I’d only gained like 12 pounds.


My daughter’s father has a severe mental breakdown when I was five months pregnant. After a mini crime spree he has court mandated psychiatry where we learned that he was now schizophrenic. I knew it was going to be ROUGH. But I didn’t know it was gonna be not-meet-your-own-daughter-for-two-entire-years rough. So I did what any distraught new mom with little support did (right?) , I fucking ate.


And I gained over 100 pounds doing it. Honestly, I’m disgusted. To this day, I have lost 80 pounds in 6 years. Sad. On top of that, I gained 30 of them back lmao. Wack. However, I say all that to say this. Not once through that entire experience did my taste in aesthetic pleasures change. I like bitches with no waist and fat asses still. I like men who are intelligent with dad bods. It’s just what I like. I have no idea why it gets my proverbial dick hard. It super does though.

Just because I got fat, does not mean my preference changed. Also, because I am fat, that does not mean I need to lower my standards. So many comments on the topic I stumbled upon had this “beggars can’t be choosers” vibe to it. They assume because you’re fat you’re overall undesirable and should just take whatever you can get, when you get it. And y’all are dumb for that mindset, respectfully. Yes, I am fat. I am also fine as hell (so they say). My face is pretty, my hair is beautiful and I dress nice. You daddy, your brother, your best friend and ya boyfriend still tryna grab me by the pussy. My options did not slim as my waist grew.


I know some people can’t relate to my personal story because either they have always been fat, they are ugly or they have no confidence. Still, you can be fat AND attractive. You can still carry yourself well. You can dress nice. Get your hair done or get a line up. Stay manicured. People will be drawn to you. All kinds of people. Not just other fat people. Why does anyone else even care about how much play you’re getting ? Let’s normal minding our own motherfuckin’ gosh damned business !

Quote That

The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.

Blake Lively

But Anyway…

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