What do you do when you’re deeply in love with someone who wants a vasectomy and you want more kids ? Does it help you make your decision if you knew he has gotten 3 other people pregnant ? What if he rarely sees one of those daughters ? What if you got a tarot card reading that said if you got pregnant by him he would leave you a single mother ? What if your birth control has been trashing your body but he doesn’t want to use condoms ? What if you’re planning on obtaining property across state with this person by the end of the year and now all of this is coming up ?
It’s a hard decision. Love is blind. But when you see red flags and your core values aren’t aligned with someone you can’t afford for love to blind you. That’s an extremely difficult compromise. If he has another child but didn’t want to it’s likely that he will resent you. He won’t put his all into being emotionally supportive to you or the child. He’ll likely become dissatisfied with this new dynamic and start to stray, in search of a woman that is childless and more compliant.
Should you be the one to compromise, you’ll grow old and angry upset that now even if he changes his mind you CAN’T have kids. You’ll feel like your chances were stolen. You’ll see babies and small children belonging to happy couples and die a little inside each time. You’ll wish you had chosen a loving man that was a dedicated husband and loving father wrapped in one to spend a happy family life with.
There seems to be no win in this situation.