The Struggle

After I got home from the hospital my anxiety was still through the roof and it seems like depression is settling in even deeper. I’m just chronically exhausted but having trouble falling asleep. I keep oversleeping and waking up in a panic attack. I’m not getting my normal amount of work done which also makes me panic.

I can’t remember if I mentioned it but a reading I had a few months back did say that I should definitely get back on my medicine because depression was coming. I didn’t see it because although life was hard at that time, I felt very mentally stable. I was still pretty happy. So this has still really caught me off guard.

I think that moving to California at the end of this year is all that I need. The sun makes a difference. Being surrounded by nature makes a difference. Being away from triggers would make a different. My severe allergies and fibromyalgia cause me to feel depressed and neither of them bother me when I’m in California. I’m just very ready to move. So I need to find a way to get it together and get back focused so that I can do what I need to do to make sure this move really happens this time with or without anyone else.

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